Making new friends in college: just say ‘hi’

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By Jaime Hiter
SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT

Published: October 10, 2008

Juliana Paz remembers exactly how nervous she was when she first entered her dormitory at Virginia Commonwealth University as a freshman.

“I remember feeling excited about college, but awkward about meeting new people,” said Paz, who came to Richmond from Washington, D.C. “During our first floor meeting, I looked around to see if anyone stood out to me or looked approachable.”

But for many students like Paz, the excitement wears off quickly when they realize that they have just left behind their family and all of their high-school friends. Suddenly, they are reminded that they are no longer walking down hallways with their longtime pals.

Now, they are among thousands of other students with unfamiliar faces.

“On the way to my room, I stopped by my next-door neighbors, which was suggested during the meeting,” Paz said. “The girls were pretty nice. Eventually all of us on my floor started walking to the dining hall together, asking each other questions about where we all were from. It was weird hanging out with people you really didn’t know.”

First-year college students often struggle to meet new people who share similar likes and interests. In a new environment with thousands of diverse peers, some students find it difficult to fit in or find others who accept them as friends.

“I wasn’t the only one feeling awkward, once I got to know the girls from my floor a little better,” Paz said. “We laughed at how we were all nervous about making friends.”

Students who feel shy or intimidated about meeting new people are not alone. Most freshmen are in the same boat.

Stuart Allen, a student at J. Sargeant Reynolds Community College, said it can be uncomfortable meeting people for the first time, but the best way to become friends with someone is to simply say, “hi.”

“I started speaking to people in my classes,” he said. “It’s the best place to start a friendship. You already know you have one similarity. Even if you don’t have anything else to talk about, you can always talk about your class.”

VCU student Laura Madsen agrees.

“I’ve met some of my coolest friends in class,” she said. “A friendship isn’t going to start spontaneously. You have to build the friendship. Once you do that, you can take your friendship outside of class.”

Other students also say that meeting new people does not have to be as challenging as it seems.

“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” said Bree Sheer, a J. Sargeant Reynolds student who transferred here from California. “I just sit back and relax. If someone wants to be friends with me, they’ll say something. I wait for someone else to spark up a conversation. Then I keep it going.”

Ameesha Felton, a VCU resident assistant, gives upcoming freshman one important advice.

“Go to an interactive event, a campus function or attend a gym class,” she said. “It’s a great way to meet people who are interested in the same things you are. Be a part of an organization, become Greek, get involved in a fraternity or sorority or join SGA, the Student Government Association. It’s a good way to get plugged in. These kinds of organizations plug you into the powerhouse of what’s going on.”

Robert Edward, a student from Fluvanna County High School in Palmyra, who is an incoming freshman at VCU this fall, had already planned to do just that in the spring.

“I want to get into something like student government,” Edward said. “If I do that, I’m sure I’ll make a few friends. It’ll be easier that way, too. We’d all have something to talk about,” he added.

But student can also use cyberspace to connect with their new peers. There are many social networking sites such as Facebook or MySpace, which have communities for the different colleges. Both allow students to create a profile page and are used to meet new friends and to keep in touch with them.